THE clergy of the Diocese of Worcester were treated to an address by Dawn Brooker, Professor of Dementia Studies at the University of Worcester, about dementia. She’s very well qualified to do so.

There’s much excellent work going on at the university but none more inspirational, in my view, than that which she is pioneering. In fact, because of her vision and imagination, and that of her colleagues, the university has become a world leader in this area, doing some pioneering work.

It might not be thought of as the most cheery of subjects, but it is one that we would do well to think about. Twenty-five percent of us will suffer from dementia in due course and almost all of us will have to be alongside friends and family who are suffering. I was struck by how many clergy were having to deal with people with dementia in their families.

One of the most crucial things Prof Brooker and her colleagues are trying to do is teach people that dementia is not the ‘living death’ that it was once thought to be. Life is worth living with dementia and it can have many rewards and pleasures.

What is needed is a change of attitude on the part of those of us who are alongside dementia sufferers – and probably the first thing we can helpfully do is let people know that dementia does not spell the end. Then we have to learn to relate differently to those who have dementia.

For example, it is well known that dementia affects the short term memory, so it’s no good asking dementia sufferers what they had for lunch. They won’t remember. Talk to them, rather, about when they were children and young adults – help them to access memories from the past which will be intact.

It’s a simple rule but it can make all the difference to helping people with dementiafeel better about themselves.

Another hint about how to relate to those with dementia was contained in some moving and memorable words Prof Brooker quoted: 'As we become more emotional and less cognitive, it’s the way you talk to us, not what you say, that we will remember. We know the feeling but we don’t know the plot. Your smile, your laugh and your touch are what we will connect with. Empathy heals. Just love us as we are. We’re still here, in emotion and spirit, if only you could find us.'

Sometimes you still hear people talk about people with dementia is if they had already died. In fact, it is possible for dementia sufferers to lead a good life with help from the rest of us. They also have many things to teach us about what really counts in life. Perhaps the most important is that it’s not the words we speak which count: they’ll be forgotten. It’s the love we show.

RT REV DR JOHN INGE, BISHOP OF WORCESTER