The family way

The family way

The family way

First published in Lifestyle

Thanks to the rise of child-friendly tech, new research now suggests two thirds of toddlers are watching TV or playing on a gadget as they eat dinner. Lisa Salmon reports

Christmas may be over, but the effects of its gifts still linger - and not always in a positive way.

According to new research by Disney Club Penguin, four out of five parents bought their children an internet-enabled device for a Christmas present. And, as a predictable result, another survey by GrowingUpMilkInfo.com shows more than a third of toddlers (36%) watch TV or a DVD at the dinner table, 28% use iPads, 24% use smartphones and 12% opt for hand-held games.

It is perhaps easy to see why these figures are so high - tantrums (38%) and boredom (35%) are the main reasons most mums and dads turn to technology during mealtimes, and three quarters admit using technology to persuade their child to finish a meal.

But being understandable doesn't make the facts any less sad, or, more worryingly, damaging to a toddler's social and emotional development.

"Mealtimes with toddlers can be frustrating and boring," says child psychologist Dr Amanda Gummer.

"But if parents don't invest the time in getting it right early with communication, manners, nutrition etc, it will be so much more difficult later, and important social skills, emotional development and attachment will suffer."

She adds the problem is often compounded by parents reaching for technology at the table themselves.

"Technology shouldn't feature during family meals, and parents need to understand what's at stake when they're ignoring their children and answering texts or emails during mealtimes," she stresses. "Parents are role models and they're fighting a losing battle if they want their children to put down tech at mealtimes when they're using it themselves."

With this in mind, you might think a total TV and tech ban must be the way to get the most out of mealtimes, but Gummer, founder of the goodtoyguide.com, says it probably isn't the best solution.

"Like most things, it's about a sensible balance," she says.

"Full-on bans generally don't work and can make the forbidden fruit more appealing - and the tantrum more entrenched, at least initially.

"But there are simple things parents can do to manage mealtimes effectively, and give children good role models and clear boundaries about mealtime behaviour without making it too much like hard work."

She suggests that a 'treaty' tea in front of a film once a week can be something children look forward to, acting as a reward for eating nicely at the table without tech the rest of the week.

Parents should also choose to eat certain meals with their children when they model the behaviour they want to see. She points out it's not necessary at every meal, especially if it feels too stressful, but it is important to try as often as you can.

"When you do eat with the children, be aware that they'll see what you do as normal and acceptable so they'll get confused and frustrated if you're watching TV or using your phone or tablet but won't let them."

To keep up interest levels in the absence of the usual TV or tablet, Gummer suggests talking to children about the taste, texture and look of the food on their plate.

"Make it more interesting for them. Children who eat without registering the food - those who are given tech as a distraction to get them to eat their veggies - are likely to eat more out of habit."

This means they won't be paying attention to the eating process and won't register when they are full, eventually putting them at a higher risk of obesity.

Another trick to keep them entertained, and to make sure they still associate mealtimes with fun, is playing 'non tech' games.

"Play eye spy, or make up stories and memory games," suggests Gummer.

"They'll engage a child during a meal without the need for tech at the table."

Once the meal is over, and if the children have eaten properly, Gummer says it's then fine to use tech play as a reward, letting them sit and relax with some screen time for 20 minutes as they let their food go down.

However, another child psychologist, Dr Richard Woolfson, argues there is no need even for this allowance - at least at the majority of mealtimes.

"Access to gadgets at the family dining table inevitably distracts children from eating what's in front of them, and reduces their desire to chat with others during dinner, isolating them from the dynamic communication of the family meal. This is a lost opportunity and a solid reason why it's best to make, at least some, family mealtimes a no-gadget zone.

"After a few initial protests, your toddler will soon adapt and everyone will experience the full psychological and nutritional benefits of an IT-free family meal."

Ask the expert

Q: "I'm concerned my son isn't active enough and recently he's been complaining of back pain. Could there be a link between the two, and should I encourage him to be more active?"

A: Chiropractor Tim Hutchful of the British Chiropractic Association (BCA) says: "Back pain can be caused by a number of different factors, and it's important for anyone to seek professional advice if they're experiencing back pain because an undiagnosed problem could lead to longer-term damage if left untreated.

"It's true that being sedentary can cause back pain. Exercise can help to promote good posture, which in turn contributes to a healthier back.

"If your son likes sport, you could encourage him to find out more about becoming part of a team which he might enjoy.

"As well as this, he should be encouraged to be active on a daily basis. He can do this by building activity in to his daily routine, for example by walking to school or being active during break times.

"For school, your son should wear a rucksack on both shoulders which doesn't have unnecessary heavy items in it. His shoes should be supportive, with soft soles and a good grip to make it easier for him to carry his bag and protect his back.

"For more tips, the BCA has developed Straighten Up UK - a simple, three minute programme of easy-to-learn exercises to help children develop good postures."

:: For more information, visit www.chiropractic-uk.co.uk and search Straighten Up UK.

Bags for baby

Aden & Anais Cozy Plus Sleeping Bag

Baby sleeping bag with a tog rating of 2.5, a cotton muslin shell and bottom and side zippers for easy changes. Suitable from birth to two years, £55, available from www.adenandanais.co.uk.

Bubbaroo Joey Swag

Soft sleeping bag designed to ensure your baby can't slip down inside, with four different tog weights, from lightweight to extra-heavyweight. Available in sizes from birth to six years from www.bubbaroo.co.uk, from £24.95 to £46.95.

Vertbaudet All-Seasons Sleep Bag

A pure cotton sleeping bag with a jersey lining and polyester padding. Available in sizes from birth to three years, from £27. Vertbaudet stockist details available from www.vertbaudet.co.uk, or 0844 842 0000.

Comments

Comments are closed on this article.

Send us your news, pictures and videos

Most read stories

Local Info

Enter your postcode, town or place name

About cookies

We want you to enjoy your visit to our website. That's why we use cookies to enhance your experience. By staying on our website you agree to our use of cookies. Find out more about the cookies we use.

I agree