Lisa Salmon looks at the weird, wonderful and sometimes weary world of parenting.

All mums and dads know that when you have children, your priorities change.

And that includes your work priorities.

In fact, a new survey has found that parents prize time with the family and flexible hours over job security and the amount they earn when choosing a job.

The survey, which was done by the working parents' websites mumandworking and Family Friendly Working to launch the mumandworking Awards, shows that 80% of parents questioned have changed their working patterns since having children.

The main reason parents change the way they work is to spend more time with the family. Just over half of parents explained that their priorities have changed, nearly three in 10 found that their work hours didn't fit the childcare available, and three in 20 found that childcare costs made it no longer worth working.

Of the parents surveyed, 43% were now employed and the rest were self-employed, seeking work, studying or taking a career break.

Just 17% were working full-time.

Director of mumandworking Sam Willoughby explains that she set up her own business when her then employer wouldn't even discuss flexible working with her.

She now employs a team of 12 parents working flexibly at home, and also manages the mumandworking website, which gives parents advice and information about flexible jobs.

"This shows how traditional employment patterns are no longer normal," she says.

"No-one can prepare you for the reality of being a mum and having a job too.

"Most mums struggle through the first months when they go back to work until they settle into their new routine, role and childcare.

"Often the biggest hurdle is one of confidence, as having a long spell of maternity leave can make you feel out of the loop."

Changing working patterns after having children has a big financial impact - seven out of 10 families surveyed had seen a drop in income, and for nearly half of those the reduction was between £10,000-£40,000 a year.

Nevertheless, three in 10 felt they were financially "fine", while four in 10 were okay most of the time but struggled sometimes.

Nearly a quarter struggled financially more often than not, with just under one in 10 finding they never had enough money, or even had serious debt problems.

Money isn't the top priority for parents, however. Not surprisingly, time with the family came out first for 17 out of 20 parents, while flexible hours were a priority for three in four.

Earnings were a priority for just seven in 20, and three in 10 prioritised job security. Career progression was a priority for just one in 10.

Willoughby advises mums who are struggling with their return to work to try and pinpoint the cause of the problem.

She says that if it's their hours or role, they should talk to their manager about different options.

If the problem is childcare, women should look at all the alternatives, or see if family can help at all, she suggests.

Another way of looking at the situation, however, is as an opportunity to go in a different career direction that may offer more flexibility and be family-friendly.

Willoughby suggests that those who would like to seize the chance to change direction should get lots of advice and then narrow down their options, before discussing them with others.

She says: "For many women that change their career because of family commitments it's the best thing they've ever done and they never look back. I am testament to that."

Antonia Chitty, director of Family Friendly Working and Inspirational Mumpreneur of the Year 2009, insists that there are lots of opportunities out there for mums, but warns: "Sometimes you have to go out and make your opportunities.

"Most of the women I work with have changed the way they work because they feel really passionate about being in charge of their time, and putting their family top of their priorities, and they find something to do that they love."

She gives examples of women who've gone from mundane office jobs and re-trained in something creative like making jewellery or creating cards.

"I'm not going to pretend it's easy," she says "because starting a business and making it succeed is a real journey.

"But I think most mums are happier that they can get some money into the family and they can be there to collect the children from school, or not have to put them in full-time nursery.

"Parents know that lots of things are more important than a big income, and time with the family is invaluable."

The working mums survey was done to launch the 2010 mumandworking awards, which recognise the companies and individuals that make flexible working possible. Categories include Business Parent of the Year, Self-Employed Parent of the Year, and Flexible Company of the Year.

To enter the awards or nominate someone go to www.mumandworking.co.uk. Nominations are open now.

Ask the expert Q: "My baby was born eight weeks premature, and as well as a mother's normal concerns about prematurity I'm also worried about new research which suggests premature babies are more sensitive to pain than full-term babies. It almost makes me too scared to pick him up. Is he ever likely to be a 'normal' child?"

A: Jane Abbott, head of programmes at Bliss, the special care baby charity, says: "While this is an interesting study, it is important to remember that it refers to medical procedures being carried out on babies which are necessary and often life-saving.

"It's imperative that babies receive good quality pain management to minimise any pain during treatment. Doctors and nurses are continuously researching what techniques are most effective to ensure babies' pain is kept to a minimum.

"Because premature and sick babies undergo many medical procedures that can cause them some discomfort, it's important to be aware of the helpful and comforting role that you, as your baby's parents, can play.

"You are the best people to provide your baby with a positive, reassuring touch, so don't be afraid to hold your baby.

"Positive touch is a way of communicating your love and reassurance to your baby and hearing your baby's needs in return.

"There are several techniques that can help to soothe your baby - one of these is Kangaroo Care. Kangaroo Care is skin-to-skin contact when a baby is placed against the parent's chest.

"Talk to your baby's nurse about Kangaroo Care and decide the best time and place for you to try it.

"The large majority of premature babies go on to lead very happy and healthy lives."

Website of the week: www.babyfreebies.co.uk A website listing free stuff for babies so that mums, dads and babies get to try items including the latest bath care products and nappies, for free. There are links to places offering free samples of baby care products, plenty of voucher codes, and money off vouchers for items including underwear, as well as articles on topics like babysitting.