Vet on coping with grief after the loss of a family pet

Grief and the loss it accompanies is something that terrifies us — the brutal absence of those we love.

Losing a pet is often a child’s first experience of death and, as we age, the experience seems to gain weight and depth over time.

At worst it can be unbearable.

I raised a barn owl from a chick at 15 but discovered as she began to flap around the spare room that she was struggling for breath.

Our vets diagnosed aspergillosis, a fungal infection that would be a nightmare to treat in a grown human.

In an owlet it was a death sentence.

I remember cradling her, rocking and howling for what felt like forever, but in reality it was an afternoon.

I have never tried to raise a chick again but for many the trauma of loss can prevent pet ownership forever — perhaps an even greater loss than the death itself.

I believe loving our pets makes us better humans as well as being one of the great pleasures in life.

If nothing else I ever write gets seen, your animal is not ‘just’ a pet.

You are not silly or overemotional and you have nothing to apologise for if you’re crying in my room.

We know what it’s like — call your vet if you need to talk or the Blue Cross on 0800 096 6606 to speak to a pet bereavement counsellor.

At its best grief is the price we pay gladly for love that fills and enriches our lives, teaching us to live for now, the perfectly imperfect moments with those we love the most.

As we travel through it grief can remind us life is full of heroism, people living life despite the weight of loss.

Our columnist Will Trewarman MRCVS is a senior veterinary surgeon at Vale Vets which is based in Kidderminster and Stourport.