While many breathe a sigh of relief that Made in Chelsea is over and Towie (The Only Way is Essex) is finishing, for those worrying about getting trashy reality TV withdrawal – there’s a new series called Life on Marbs.

Phew!

As with any show like this does, it split viewers, but inevitably trended on Twitter. For those who missed any moment of the first of the 12-part series following Marbella’s “most famous residents”, here are 13 things we learned.

1. The sun, sea, sand and sex made lots of people want to move to Marbs

2. It also made lots of people want to avoid the Spanish partying hotspot like the plague

3. Many immediately hated the tanned cast

4. Especially self-proclaimed “Milf of Marbs” and “Marbie Barbie” Natalie Richardson

Natalie Richardson from Life on Marbs
Natalie Richardson (ITVBe)

But actually, she came up with some of the most stand-out quotes of episode one. Including: “If you can’t tone it, tan it.”

Oh and this comment about Felicity.

And a crazy comment about her designer vagina.

She also added: “If you have two children then it’s only polite to have it put back properly.

5. “Mummy Marbella” Lina was pretty good at outrageous statements too

She said to Suzy: “I want tits, I want teeth, I want you looking fabulous.”

And these gems too.

6. Some people were instantly addicted to Life on Marbs

7. Some people just hated it

8. There was a willy birthday cake

9. There’s a cockney guy called Josh who says “Oi oi” in pretty much every sentence

10. Even Elliott Wright of Towie fame noticed

11. According to Lauren from Golden Tarts (a hair and beauty salon) “Marbella is Essex in the sun”

12. Some people think the best-looking girl is a boy

Maxwell Jameson from Life on Marbs
Maxwell Jameson (ITVBe)

13. Others think “ze German” Mark’s dog Carlos is the star of the show

Juan Carlos III, Mark's dog from Life on Marbs
Juan Carlos III, Mark’s dog (ITVBe)

Same time next week?